Stress – How to Be Solution Focused Vs. Problem Focused

Stress is defined as a state of mental or emotional strain or tension (Google). It is a feeling based on our thoughts about a circumstance or perceived problem at work, with family or school.  What do emotional eaters do when stressed? We eat to numb our feelings. Often we think we are stressed out about a problem and we think the situation is what is causing us to feel stress. But in reality, it is our thoughts about the problem causing our stress. These thoughts are optional and we can choose different thoughts. That may be hard in the moment but just take a step back, take a deep breath, and be the curious observer. What are you thinking that is causing you stress? If it involves other people, we need to remember that we have no control over how anyone else thinks or feels; we only have control over our own thoughts and feelings. 

Steps to be more solution focused?

Determine what thoughts you are having currently?

Are these thoughts useful to solving the situation?

What could you think instead?

How do you want to feel? What is a thought you could think for you to feel that way that is believable?

Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. What are they thinking that makes them react like that?

What is the worst that can happen?

What is the best outcome?

What can I learn from this?

Ask your brain to figure out a solution and your brain will go to work

The more we can become the curious observer and realize the thoughts we have about problems are our choice; the more we stay conscious and the less we overeat due to stress. If you are an emotional overeater, this is a game changer.

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