Self confidence is our willingness to feel any emotion. The definition is to be secure in yourself and your abilities. It is your ability to have your own back, manage the thoughts you have about you, and ability to trust yourself. This is the true meaning of growth. Learn by failing instead of by succeeding. If you don’t know what to do, just take the next most logical step (even if it is wrong) and keep on learning by failing.
On a scale of 0-10 with 10 being the most confident, how self confident are you? What is the big deal about self confidence? Self confidence gives us the energy that propels us into action. The opposite of self confidence is self doubt. Self doubt leads to inaction and is letting fear take over. Self doubt is created by thoughts like:
I don’t know how
I’ve never done it before
It’s too hard
I’m not talented/experienced enough
I’m not good enough
The less risk I take the better
Rejection is the worst thing that can happen
Confidence is something you either have or don’t have
Other people can do it because they are special, privileged, lucky
Confident people are comfortable and never afraid
Confidence comes from what we have accomplished in the past (external) and self doubt comes from our brain being afraid of failure or trying new things. Your brain is trying to keep you safe. Self confidence is more internal and is a willingness to have your own back even if you fail because you are capable of feeling any emotion. So what is failure then? Failure is not meeting our own expectations. It means we are human. It is an opportunity to increase self confidence because we are learning and experiencing emotion.
We generate self confidence with our thinking. No one is born with self confidence, you earn it by keeping your word to yourself and doing what you say you will do. No one can take away your self confidence. Other people’s opinions do not give you self confidence. You don’t need evidence to feel self confident, you just decide on purpose. Self confidence fuels your dreams. Here are some thoughts that generate self confidence: It takes practice to believe them.
I show up and take action
The worst that can happen is a feeling
I can decide to believe what I want
I believe in me unconditionally
I can figure anything out
I believe in myself no matter what
A self confident person is going to think they are capable, worthy, strong and competent. Self confidence does not have to be proven, it is a feeling that generates a result and that result does not have to be perfect to generate self confidence. Self confidence is practiced self belief; you don’t rely on your ability, you rely on your belief that you can handle anything.
A good question to ask is what is getting in the way of you being a 10/10 in self confidence? Most of us are not self confident because we are afraid to feel negative emotion so we don’t try unless we think we can do it perfectly for fear of failure. Many people use this all or nothing thinking with weight loss – either they follow their healthy eating plan perfectly or they say “F -it” I can’t do this and quit. A self confident person will keep weighing themselves every day and see what foods work for them and what don’t. If they eat off plan, they learn what thoughts triggered it and move on and continue their healthy eating plan.
I am a certified life and weight loss coach. I help women over 40 lose weight for the last time and learn how to manage their mind and emotions in the process.